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About Digital Art / Student Member Sarah21/Female/United States Groups :iconhalloftime: HallofTime
 
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pixiesera
Sarah
Artist | Student | Digital Art
United States
:iconpixiesera::iconpixie-sera:


My tumblr: pixiesera.tumblr.com/
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Q&A and FAQs: pixiesera.deviantart.com/journ…


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TsundereViolet-Chan
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Drawing commissions :bulletgreen: Open :bulletgreen: Info
Custom Monster High doll and My Little Pony commissions :bulletgreen: Open :bulletgreen: Info



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Current Residence: Pie Land!
Favourite genre of music: Rock, Alternative, Dubstep, Electronic, Pop
MP3 player of choice: iPod nano
Favourite cartoon character: Danny Phantom (Danny Phantom), Musa (Winx Club), Draculaura (Monster High), Maddie Hatter (Ever After High), Pearl (Steven Universe), BMO (Adventure Time)
Personal Quote: "It's you and me against the world. We attack at dawn." -Grim Adv. of Billy and Mandy
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:iconjackandchase4eva:
JackandChase4eva Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2014
I updated my Monster High OC Profile. :3 jackandchase4eva.deviantart.co…
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:iconhamtarotoro:
HamtaroToro Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014  New member
If thou magnificent is willing, would you check out my monster high oc? There are only words for I lack the visual mastery of others. Apologies in advance for the visual confusion that is an empty void. 
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:iconpixiesera:
pixiesera Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Sure I can take a look at them. Can I have a link?
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:iconpixiesera:
pixiesera Featured By Owner Oct 12, 2014  Student Digital Artist
I’ll start with Dimitri first. I have never heard of his monster parents so I did a quick search. They seem really interesting and I haven’t seen another OC with that same parentage. I couldn’t find much about the Zuttibur. From what I understand it’s a tree spirit of sorts. Is it like a succubus/incubus? If it is that would explain his sexual nature. Personally I don’t know if I would have him be so sexual at 16 but there’s dozens upon dozens of sex demon OCs out there that are just as sexual, so I guess it’s not a big deal. He would have to act appropriate for school of course.

His bio overall looks pretty good. There’s just a few things that I think could be worked on. For his freaky flaw it says that he can become a sex slave, so does that mean he’s cursed? But if it’s a flaw it seems that he likes it? I would make his flaw something about his personality or a bad habit he has. It’s not really a flaw if it’s something he likes. But if you went the route of “Oh it’s this curse I have, I become someone’s slave without my own consent, it’s so annoying” I think that could work.

You put that his body type is “K-Pop guy” and that seems really vague. I’m not a K-Pop expert but I’m sure K-Pop singers can be of all body types. You put “Not PSY” so I’m guessing you mean that he has a slender body type. You should just put that. K-Pop guy isn’t a body type. Going along with that, his favorite food is candy and sweets but he has a fit body which I assume from what you’ve stated looks like this: angelofheart.files.wordpress.c… Unless he works out on the regular or has a crazy metabolism he probably wouldn’t look like that (I’m guessing he has a lot of sex but regular sex only burns so much on it’s own XD). And his bio says he binge eats, so he really would put on a few pounds. Unless you’re talking about girls he binge eats and not candy. That’s different. And if you did mean girls you should probably reword it so it’s clear.

This probably has to do with his parents which I know nothing about but the description of his pet confused me. What was the “stuff” the foxes pulled “way back” and why was it so significant? Why was he supposed to be bonded with a wolf? Why does it matter to his character? I say either elaborate on that more or simply cut it out. I’m guessing a lot of people won’t be familiar with his parentage or won’t even bother to read up on it so that will only confuse them.

I like that he’s a musician, that gives him more to do than just sex. Haha I would love to see him write a rebellious song about math! I think that’s all I have to say for Dimitri. He seems like he could be a cool, angsty character.


SooZee seems like a cute character! Robot girls are always fun. It’s nice to see that she’s a WOC being Korean. I would be careful about making her a stereotype. She seems fine right now but just something to be aware of. She wears k-pop clothes which is fine since she is Korean herself. I’m a little confused as to why she needed human DNA put into her. She’s an android, not a cyborg so that seems a little unnecessary. Personally I think making her a simple android made in a lab/factory/whatever would work just fine. But it’s your character, you can keep that the way it is if you want to. Maybe the people who make the androids have a good or possibly creepy reason for using human DNA? Who knows! Oh that poor girl, having to grow up with creepy scientist guys. That does make her backstory interesting.

Her pet being a stuffed animal is clever, if not a little creepy. Robo Teddys are stuff of nightmares. XD Oh god, Pedo Bear? I thought that meme was dead in the ground where it belonged! But to be serious, I would seriously consider taking that bit out. It could come across as very insulting to some people. SooZee is supposed to be 15, and pedophilia is not something that should be taken lightly. I know it seems like it should be funny ‘cause oh it’s Pedo Bear, Pedo Bear’s an internet thing and it’s fun, but I would rather be safe than sorry. Going along with that, I would also be careful about how you portray her relationships with the scientists. She’s an underage girl that lives with what I can only assume are creepy men. I know she’s an android and not a human but that could reek of pedophilia pretty quickly. A lot of times writers add these creepy molestation plotlines to give the character an angsty or interesting backstory and that’s really something that should be avoided. Don’t go into that territory unless it is absolutely needed for the characters development. I’m not accusing you of doing this, I’m just giving you tips for the future.

The “mechanical racism” I think is interesting to add to her. Not a lot of people think about the prejudices that subgroups can have. In Monster High’s canon there are fights between monsters that are fresh water and salt water for example. So good job with that.

Her not being able to smell or taste is a nice quirk. Haha how do the scientists manage to give a robot emotions but they can’t simulate the sense of smell for her? They need to get their act together. XD

I love how bubbley and energetic she is for a robot. Her taking advantage of her programmed emotions is clever. A robot trying to do theatre is fun to think about. I would cut out the first sentence about her favorite class. I don’t think it’s really necessary. Just keep it simple and state “Theatre is my favorite! I get to sing, dance, and practice with emotions!” Something like that. I like that she’s very colorful too. Robots tend to be silvers and greys. I can just imagine her all dressed up in her bright outfits. Hehe so cute!

I also like that she’s a mechanically made being but she’s interested in the organic. Oh poor girl, I would be scared of becoming obsolete too if I were robotic. I think that fear is very clever! I like that she is bilingual but why stop at only two languages? She can be programmed to easily learn more. Come to think of it, she can be programmed to learn lots of things? Why bother going to school? XD


So that’s my two cents. Sorry it’s kinda long. XP Overall I think you’re going in the right direction with both of them. Consider what I mentioned above and use or ignore whatever you want. Sadly you only have the short bios that Monster High provides filled out and it’s hard to evaluate a character with only so much information. So keep working on them and developing their character. I’m sure they’ll be a lot of fun.
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:iconthegr8estone:
TheGr8estOne Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2014
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Brohoof Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!

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:iconpixiesera:
pixiesera Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Oh woah! Thank you! X3
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:iconkyo-cchi:
Kyo-Cchi Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Happy birthday!
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:iconpixiesera:
pixiesera Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Thank you!
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:iconkyo-cchi:
Kyo-Cchi Featured By Owner Sep 22, 2014  Student Digital Artist
^^
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